OK, so you know it’s about time you found yourself a girl but you don’t know where and you don’t know how? We want to take a look at our 7 Top Tips for How to Meet Women
Maybe you’ve been out of the game for a while, and discovered the game has changed, or maybe you’ve never been all that good at the game to begin with. Whatever, not to worry, this is the first of a series on dating, where we’re going to take you step by step through the dating ritual – because that’s exactly what it is, a ritual.
Indeed it’s perhaps one of the oldest rituals in the world. Older than the Aztec human sacrifices to make the sun rise each day, just as messy and with just as much chance of getting your heart ripped out, the dating game is a grueling ordeal for many blokes.
It used to be for me too, until I started learning the rules of the game. But before we get into all of that, let’s answer the first question every bloke asks when he decides he needs to find a girl – where do I find the good ‘uns?
I’m putting this one first because I know many blokes who swear by it. They sign up on dating sites and, having sifted through thousands of Russian wedding proposals, manage to find sheilas to hook up with, nothing long term or serious, of course, just casual.
In fact, odds are, no matter what your personal tastes are, there’s probably a casual hook-up site to cater for you. (And we won’t mention the stuff you can find on Craigslist!)
Thing is you might end up with someone who’s not as advertised, but well, least you don’t have to wait until you wake up in the morning to figure that out, eh?
Then again you might end up with a girl who looks just like her photo – hot. Now she might be the girl of your dreams, after all you do see a lot of hot girls on these sites. But then why is it all these hot girls need to go on the internet to find a date?
Well, in many cases the reason is because they’ve got a fair few screws loose, the sort who live alone with lots of cats and want to talk all about their family and emotional problems.
Verdict: Give it a go by all means just keep your searches local to avoid mail order bride land, be wary for a few from cloud cuckoo land and don’t rely on it exclusively. Keep it in the mix, but at the same time the whole idea is that you get out and about a bit.
I’ll bet there’s one sheila in work you fancy the knickers off right? Yeah come on, every bloke has one! That’s just infatuation, though, a natural blend of male libido and work-related boredom. You fantasize about her because you’re bored and you’re horny – which is pretty much how every bloke is at work. That’s why we all think ooh I’d like to put in a bit of overtime with her!
It’s not gonna happen though. Or worse, it will after some sleazy Christmas piss-up and the fallout will be disastrous. Take it from me, blokes, unless you’re planning to quit anyway, office flings are always a bad idea.
Now, as for office relationships, well, they can go either way to tell the truth. I’ve seen it work and I’ve seen it fail horribly. The ones that do work are between people who have worked together for a long time, they get on great as day-to-day co-workers as well as outside in social situations, they not only laugh at each others jokes but they have their own in-jokes – the sort of pair that even the biggest idiot in the place things, “those two really ought to get together.”
If you have a relationship like that well then you should consider dating on the job. You might even have had colleagues saying to you, “hey, just ask her out!” Just make sure, first of all, that you think it’s a good idea. And, just to be on the safe side, make sure you do it privately, because it’s hard enough to go in there every single morning if she knocks you back, but it would be even harder still if everyone in the place knows she did.
Verdict: You might well find the lady of your dreams at work, just beware the pitfalls and play it cool for a while.
Of course not everybody is going to be so lucky to meet Ms Right first thing, 8 o’clock on Monday morning. Tell the truth it’s sort of a lazy way out, really, because it’s all about getting out there, talking to girls, taking chances, opening yourself up more than you might normally do.
Remember the dating game’s all about confidence and you can only develop confidence by doing the things that normally scare you shitless, diving straight in and then getting the courage to do them afterwards.
One way to get that confidence back, especially if you’ve been out of circulation for a while and you’ve let yourself go (come on, we all know it happens), is to get your fat ass to the gym.
The gym is a wonderful opportunity because it ticks so many boxes all in one go. First of all it makes you healthier and therefore happier. Plus, you’ll have more energy, which won’t go unappreciated now will it?
I mean now that you’re back on the scene you got to be a tiger don’t you? Not some sweaty, saggy, flabby sad case puffing and wheezing around the dance floor – hardly the sign of male virility it?
Exercise not only improves your overall health, it also improves your physique, which, in turn not only improves your confidence but, let’s be honest blokes, turning that kegger back into a 6-pack and those man-boobs into sculpted pecs can’t hurt your chances either, now can it?
Here comes the added bonus – not only do you get fit and looking great it’s also a great way to meet people, particularly very fit, young and attractive ladies. Of course you need to pick your gym carefully, firstly on price and location, but also in terms of clientele.
You don’t want to overshoot the mark too much. You don’t want to end up in a place where the girls are all health freaks, more interested in protein shakes than wine, or be that normal bloke in a gym where all the girls are already hooked up with enormous bronzed body-builders. Instead you want to find a place where there’s a sure chance of you getting a reasonable look-in.
Verdict: A no-brainer – you need to get in shape anyway right?
Exercise Your Mind
The gym will get your confidence and your energy back, so now that you’ve exercised your body why not exercise your mind by joining a club or taking a course or two, like a foreign cookery class for example.
First of all you’re broadening your mind, learning something new, secondly the ladies love a bloke who knows how to cook and thirdly, it will open up new social groups for you. You hear about this sort of stuff all the time, the couple meets for the first time, they go for a drink afterwards and the rest is history.
Verdict: Expands your mind and your social horizons.
The Club Scene
If you’ve been away from the club scene for a while you’ll need to take a serious refresher course. Nowadays there’s so many different styles of clubs, with so many different types of music and fashion it can seem virtually impossible to figure out what’s going on – especially, once again, if you haven’t been on the circuit for a while.
You’ll probably need to do your research on the different musical styles, record labels, fashion labels, all of that – plus you might want to update some of those dance moves.
Do this first and soon you could well become the new king of clubland.
Go find a girl that you consider to be way out of your league and hit on her anyway, do your level best, see how you get on. If the thought of doing that terrifies you, then all the more reason for doing it, nothing like a good adrenalin rush, right?
Now I know clubs aren’t everyone’s scene so if you feel a bit goofy and out of place in there just remember you’re not the only one. You might well find a girl in there that’s there for the same reason you are, and then you both click.
Besides, it’s all about building confidence. Once you’re able to strut your stuff on the dancefloor, having shed all your inhibitions and hit on countless gorgeous women then there’s nothing to stop you, is there?
The following weekend it’s time to give the clubscene a break for a bit and find a nice good lively pub, something with a little live music maybe. You’re feelin’ happy, you’re brimming with confidence but now you’re in a more casual atmosphere so you don’t need to show off so much.
Ok then, see that pretty blonde who keeps eying you from the corner of the bar? Find out what she’s drinking then go up and buy her one. Buying her a drink buys you an introduction – albeit a short one – so don’t make a balls of it. If you do go down in flames, c’est la vie, you just dust yourself off and live to fight another day.
Trying out different types of things and getting out of your comfort zone is important. You need to get out and try new stuff because at the end of the day it helps build confidence and character, especially if you’re still moping after a break-up.
Think of it like this, you’ve done the dating bootcamp before going straight behind enemy lines, wiggled about to strange music, chatted with beautiful and exotic women, had a few successes and a few epic failures. But all in all you’ve built up your confidence and now you’re ready to return from the frontlines a conquering hero and settle down with the right girl.
One great way to do this is to make sure, right from the get-go, that you have things in common, that means common interests. If you’re into sports, well then wouldn’t it be great to have a girl that loves sport as much as you do? So why not keep your eyes open next time you’re at a sports event, and if you see a nice girl on her own, talk to her dammit!
Same with music, if you want to meet a girl who likes the same type of music you do, go to a gig and just talk to them. You don’t need to be some smarmy chat-up artist, you just need to show that you’re interested and maybe they are too, maybe they’re not, but there’s only one way to find out, right?
So that’s one of the best ways to meet someone, just get out and meet people, go to your favorite events and activities, and just open up a bit!